“We always have visions, before a thing is made real. God gives us the vision, then he takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we have patience. Don’t lose heart in the process.” – Oswald Chambers

Pilates Happy Hour Mama

I’ve been feeling fairly introspective this week.

With the busyness of the holidays also comes the awareness that another year is drawing to a close.

I sat down to journal yesterday and re-read a passage I wrote from this exact time last year.

They were almost the same, word for word.

Same struggles, same questions, same concerns.

I think it’s fair to say that 2015 kind of kicked my butt.

I feel guilty for saying that because I have a truly amazing life. I have countless blessings and things I’m grateful for. I have an amazing husband and daughter, a home I love, friends who support me and far away family who do everything they can to travel to see us.

I have a roof over my head, food on my table and I don’t have to walk 10 miles for fresh water every day. That is so much more than many people in this world, and I never forget that.

Yet, I have times I feel sad. Tired. Confused.

There are times my heart aches for this world and I just don’t know what to do about it.

There are times my dreams seem like they are taking so long to come to pass that I start to doubt if they will happen.

I don’t know why I’m writing this except maybe to say if you are in this same boat, it’s ok.

It’s ok to sometimes question where you are and what you are doing. It’s ok to question yourself, or feel sorry for yourself, or be selfish. It’s ok to occasionally lose faith.

The key is NOT TO STAY THERE.

It might seem strange that I’m writing this the week of Christmas, but I think it’s an important time to hear it.

This is a naturally introspective time, and it can bring great joy to many, and also bad memories and self-doubt to others.

This holiday season, promise yourself that you will hang on to your dreams.

It can sometimes be easier to let them go. I know from experience that there can be pain and questioning when we have a deep vision and dream in our souls that doesn’t seem to be coming to pass.

It’s hard work to be a dream believer.

And we need more of them.

I mentioned that 2015 kicked my butt. Do you know why? Because it made me stretch myself. It made me really have to decide how much I wanted certain things. It made me move out of my comfort zone and forced me to work. It gave me many chances to simply let go of my dreams and take the easy road.

It’s been a lesson in patience and letting go of control and being true to myself, and I’m still learning.

I sometimes feel like I have to re-learn every day.

That’s ok.

I’m finally going to be nice to myself and say, “That’s ok. Let’s try this again. You can do it.”

You are ok. I’m ok. We are ok.

When you start to look back on 2015, do it with love and grace. If things were hard – especially if they were hard – say “thank you” for lessons learned and that you are still here.

Remember that sadness can intermingle with gratitude, and it’s ok to cry a little if need be when saying your thank you’s.

Then wipe away the tears, stand up and take the next step.

I mentioned that, looking back over the past year, it doesn’t seem like I’m closer to my dreams than I was a year ago.

But I know that’s wrong.

Whether we feel it or not, see it or not, things are happening all around us every second that are propelling us forwards. If a dream is in your heart, it is meant to be there. Believe that.

Happy Holidays to all of you dream catchers.

“We always have visions, before a thing is made real. God gives us the vision, then he takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of the vision, and it is in the valley that so many of us faint and give way. Every vision will be made real if we have patience. Don’t lose heart in the process.” – Oswald Chambers

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