If you read much about goal setting and the Law of Attraction, you know how important it is to visualize the end result. According to the experts, you are supposed to picture exactly what it will look like when you reach your goal. You should smell the smells, hear the noises and feel the feelings.
You should never lose sight of your goals and live every day as if your dream is coming to you.
I believe in this practice and the Law of Attraction and have seen it play out in many people’s lives, including my own.
I also tend to take things very literally and have been going crazy due to my goals and visualizations lately.
I seem to be able to write them, but then get completely flustered when trying to manifest them.
I have a specific goal I’ve been believing in for a while now. I visualize it and picture it clear as day. I feel the feelings and hear the sounds and all of that stuff I’m supposed to do.
I have a specific house on my dream board that I love. I want to live in a house like that someday. I try to picture us living there and playing in the pool in the back.
I have business mentors I look up to that I want to emulate. I want to create a solid business that changes lives and gives back charitably in the community. I picture how many members I want in our membership group and I visualize myself sharing workouts with each of these people.
You know what all of that does to me?
It stresses me out.
I picture my dream house, but then I get hung up on where I want the pool to be. I’m afraid if I picture it in the wrong place, the Universe will see that and get mixed messages about what I want. So I put my future pool on hold because I don’t know what shape it should be.
I picture future members in UNLIMITED, but then I get worried about our hosting site and whether it’s big enough to support all of those people. I start planning ahead to move servers and hire assistants and learn technology that I know nothing about.
I picture a great school and babysitters and community for our kids, but then I remember we need to be in a lottery for the school and interview sitters. I remember the community we had before we moved and end up in a pity party that we need to start all over again.
I’m telling you this on the off chance that maybe you can relate.
I HOPE you can relate, because otherwise I’m the only crazy person out there who gets stressed about the Law of Attraction and visualizing their dreams and goals.
I want to do everything right and participate in the future of my dreams, so I try and follow the rules the experts tell me to. I feel like I don’t get it quite right, so I try again. And again. And again.
I end up feeling like a visualization flunkie.
Then recently listening to a podcast and I heard these words spoken:
“Your goals come to you when you let go of your attachment to the outcome.”
It resonated with me. I know I’ve been holding too tight to certain outcomes I want and it’s taken me away from just enjoying the journey.
But how are you supposed to let go of the outcome AND visualize exactly what outcome you want?
Does anyone else see a conflict here?
I pondered this all day today. Then I approached who I consider to be an expert in all things visualization and “The Secret”…my husband.
I said, “How am I supposed to let go of the outcome of my goals when I’m supposedly also supposed to visualize exactly what I want and pretend it’s already happened?”
We ended up having a 20 minute conversation, which led me straight to my computer to type this post.
Two things really stood out as “a-ha” moments for me during our talk:
My personality has always been to believe everything happens for a reason. I’ve always thought that things work out for the best. Even in my hardest times, that has held true. Sometimes when I focus TOO hard on exactly what I want, I tend to focus only on the fact I don’t have it yet. I lose site of the fact that everything will just work out if I believe and give it time.
I know this doesn’t work for everyone, but it’s what gives me the most peace. I think you need to find what resonates with you and do it. Maybe that means visualizing exactly what you want all day. Maybe it means meditating, or writing it down, or sharing it with friends.
Whatever gives you peace and belief, do that.
Let It Go
My husband and I usually sit down together in January and write down our goals for the year. We don’t do a timeline or schedule – we just write down separately what we want to accomplish personally and professionally.
The difference is that he puts his away and I keep mine on my desk. I refer back to mine, thinking I need to keep things front and center in my mind.
That visualization thing again.
This is what he said to me today:
“I write my goals down for the year, but then I let them go. I release them to the Universe when I write them. I often times forget what they are after I put the paper away. But when I look back at my goals at the end of the year, it’s amazing how many of them have happened. I didn’t specifically work towards them, but by putting them out there and then letting them go, I announced my intention to make them happen.”
I’ve read this same concept in religious terms, as well. When you have something you want with your entire heart, you need to give it to God and lay it on the alter. Give up control and walk away, trusting that the best outcome will occur.
Taking these two things into account, we came up with a plan for me and my goals.
I’m going to continue to wake up and visualize every morning. It’s my routine and the way I like to start the day. I thank God for another day and I visualize about five different goals I have for myself and our family. It takes ten minutes and I don’t even leave the bed for it.
The difference going forward is that I’m going to let it go.
Before I take a step towards the shower, I will let it go. I won’t come back to it again throughout the day. I won’t feel stressed or feel a need to revisit it. I won’t feel like I have to work and fight and scrape all day to get what I want. I won’t feel like I have to keep reminding the powers that be what I want, as if they’ve forgotten since 7:00am this morning.
I will release it and believe the Universe has heard me, loves me and will take care of the rest.
This doesn’t mean I won’t work towards my goals. Dreams require some action. If I want to grow my business, I need to market it. If I want to get pregnant, I need to know when I ovulate. If I want to do a pull-up, I need to strengthen my biceps.
I will continue to take steps towards my goals, but I release my tight grip of control over them.
I release my sense of failure for not reaching them yet.
I release the inaccurate belief that I don’t deserve them.
I release my fear of never reaching them.
I will believe that the best is happening and is going to happen. If a dream I am hoping for doesn’t happen, it’s only because something better is in store.
I will be me and I will let it go.
And I’ll be cool with wherever the pool goes in my dream house.